Ok, the title was just to get you to read further…because it turns out that trying to be special can be counterproductive to our wellness.
She recommends that we actively wish people well multiple times a day. Try it. Right now. Think of someone you love and silently wish them well. After practicing it with those we love, we can extend it to strangers and even people we find difficult to like.
At first I thought this was incredibly hippie-dippie. But now that I have a toddler on my hands I will try just about anything to prevent temper tantrums and calmly manage big emotions of my little guy. Dr. Bailey says that we cannot discipline children if we ourselves lack self-control. How true is that?
I’ve been working on connecting with people more authentically – and it feels pretty good. It turns out that in our hyper-paced, overly busy society, if we really try to connect with people we will (unfortunately) likely be special!!
Dr. Rick Hanson has 21 Ways to Turn Ill into Goodwill.
My favorite 3:
1) Be less busy. He calls it “be mindful of the priming” but to me it essentially means the busier we are, the easier it is to get annoyed with others and lose our patience. He says get enough sleep and enough to eat. I will add: give yourself enough time to do things and get from one place or activity to another.
2) Practice generosity. Send a thank you note, an I-miss-you text, an I-appreciate-you email.
3) Regard ill will as an affliction upon yourself. It hurts you more than anyone.